“If every lover was treated like they matter every day, Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be so special.”
-Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I am enjoying a great cup of Brazilian Mogiana coffee locally roasted by our friends at Flat Black Coffee. What are you drinking? Reply below and let me know!

I thought that I would drink this coffee and write a Valentine’s Day message, but nothing has come to me. It’s Thursday and it’s snowing outside, so Instead, I have decided to write about Fear and Confidence.

You remember my message from the past on Fear, and it seems only natural to follow that up by walking through how to build up your Confidence. I can tell you that one of the core element of being successful in business (and in life) is confidence. But you know this – mostly because you know how bad it feels when you lack confidence.

How is your confidence?

It turns out that the more small successes you rack up, the more you’ll feel ready to take on something bigger. You need wins. Believe it or not, I learned this from playing video games with my sons. In most games, the first few minutes are dedicated to teaching you the mechanics. Angry Birds teaches you how to hit a green pig with a bird. Super Mario Brothers teaches you to hop on goombas and break bricks. Pac Man (my all time favorite game) starts out simple and gets more complex.

The real world is a bit more tricky, but you can steal the same mechanics of gaming to build your confidence. When you take on a job, no one gives you an “easy” level when you’re starting out. When you go into business for yourself, it’s often that sense of being “thrown into the deep end.”

However, you are the owner of your experience. You can decide that you want to “level up” the way you do in video games. How? The answer is simple – “wins.”

Confidence runs on wins: More wins = More confidence

Let’s take sales, for example. If you’re in business of any kind, you need more customers. Of this, I have no doubt. So what are you doing right now? Most of the people who read this newsletter are wondering just how much blogging, Tweeting, Snapchatting, and Facebooking they have to do to get a customer. You’re probably losing faith. Your confidence is dipping.

Instead of getting down, make some small wins for yourself. Here are a few examples of tasks that will create these wins to boost your confidence:

• I’m going to make 10 specific “asks” to 10 different people who might be the right fit for what I sell. The WIN is that you ask, not whether they buy.
• I’m going to write a sales letter by Monday afternoon. The win is that the letter is written.
• I’ll send that letter Tuesday (another win).
• I’ll follow up in personalized emails. I’ll make sure I do 20 a day. Another win.
• I am going to call 10 of my past clients today, and see how they are doing (don’t start thinking that they will be upset, it’s too long since I last called, etc. Here’s a secret – people think a lot less about us than we think they do).
• Everyone that I meet I will FROG (ask about their Family, Recreation, Occupation and Goals).
• I will add to my referral network (if you need help doing this, I’d love to help)
• I will get at least one more sale this week than I did last week. Win.

See what I’m doing? Take the bigger task and break it down a bit. Find what will constitute a victory and accomplish it. Stack up more and more of those and you’ll see your confidence rise.

This is true of everything you want to accomplish. Need to lose 30 pounds? Make a win be going to the gym for 3 days this week. Make another win be drinking one gallon of water every day. Once those little victories start stacking up, you’ll have more confidence to tackle bigger tasks.

Are you scared of public speaking? Start with a blog post. Then a video. Then a free speech to a small group. Then a bigger group, etc.

Set up paths that take you from the simple wins to the bigger ones. Everything works better this way, I promise. The world may not line up neatly, but you, the owner of your destiny (and your fear), can line it up.

Go! Do it now.

And know that you are loved.

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PPS: Here’s what I learned today ” How to spot a fake friend request” Click here